First Post-Injury Off-The-Trainer No-Hands Bicycle Ride

I've been down. I didn't even blog on Friday because I've been down. Sometimes reality sets in and it's just too much. I lost so much! My profession and my brand new obsession with racing, and even just being an attractive girl. I went from being larger than life to BROKEN. There's no guarantee I'll get it all back. Of course I'll keep trying, and with the gym and Pilates I'm getting noticeably stronger every day, but anyway sometimes things are overwhelming. I know, I know, I can still accomplish great things and yadayadayada, and I know so many people are worse off than me - I get "survivor guilt" fairly often - but none of that means I don't get sad.

BUT yesterday, my friend Jen Steele hooked me up with a bike small and light enough that I could try to ride it. AND I have an awesome boyfriend (you already knew that). So today (just now) I did it. I needed help getting on and off, and Nic jogged by me holding on. I was nervous because I often can't get my right ankle to stay in place and I didn't know if I could pedal fast enough, and then of course balancing... I was shaking and crying and sick to my stomach. But I finally asked him to let go - I mean what the fuck sometimes you gotta live. And I lived. And there's a lot more to go but it's one more milestone.

Documented by Snakebyte ;)